Two new blog features I will not be implementing:

1. YEG Garden Ugly Yard Citations. This would be a feature where I take pictures of people’s ugly yards/gardens and then ridicule them publicly on this blog. I will not be doing this because I am trying to be sportswomanlike. But if I did do it, I would start with the yard one block over from me that has a brick patio that takes up their entire yard, except for one raised flowerbed, and in that flowerbed are about 40 plants – 1 each of 40 different annuals, none of them suited to their location or to their proximity to each other. CITATIONED!

2. YEG Garden You’re Wasting Your Yard Citations. This would be a feature where I find yards that have really good locations for gardens that are being wasted with dumb grass. I would passive-aggressively make these people feel guilty and for not having gardens, and point out what good gardens they could grow with their sunny, South-facing lawns. If they responded with anger, I would get one point. If they responded with shame and feeling bad about themselves, I would get two points. Again, I will not be doing this because I’m trying to preserve a minimum level of civility, but imagine how satisfying it would be.

Even know I am not putting it on this blog, I *am* doing this already in my head.

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